How to Get Over the Fear of Being Judged
You can make up a million excuses as to why you’re not shooting video, recording podcasts, or writing a blog.
But, for 90% of us, it’s not a lack of time or resources, it’s the fear of being judged.
Yup.
Admit it! You know you have something to share, an expertise that will help people solve a problem.
But once you turn that camera on yourself, you feel like you’re naked.
You feel like someone is going to make fun of your hair, your beard, your makeup, your clothes, your southern accent, your northern accent… almost anything… so you put it off for another day.
The fear of being judged is not unique to you — we all feel it.
So how do some get over it and step out while others stay hidden and unknown?
Dr. Jill Weber, a psychologist out of Washington, D.C., wrote about this topic a couple of years ago addressing people that hide from showing their true personality.
I love this quote: “If you find yourself holding back from being yourself, it’s time for a change.”
I like her approach because it has to do with the motivation for negative attention.
She writes that nothing lasts forever, meaning whoever made the negative comment, will most likely forget that comment within mere moments, or at the most, a few days.
She also stresses judgment is unavoidable, and to let them judge. It “can be liberating” to allow judgment.
And, finally, notice your own judgments.
I’m not a psychologist, but after 30 years in the public eye, I reconciled bad comments with this approach:
The worst is the first. When someone, especially a stranger, rips your comment, article, video, or podcast into pieces for no apparent reason, it stings. Stings bad.
The second one stings, too, but a little less. Then, after a while, your skin will thicken and the sting will hurt less. Separate your feelings and really read into the comment.
Be honest by asking if they have a point. If they do, call yourself out and tell them directly and to the rest of your following that they are right. Whoever made the comment will respect your honesty and become a fan.
And my final, but most important tip for dealing with negative reaction — is to keep your eye on the prize.
Why are you creating content? What is your goal? If your goal is to create relationships, help customers find answers, and build your business, then remember that goal as you sit down to record a video, write a blog, or produce a podcast.
You are going to get pushback in between A and Z, but you will achieve your goal.
I’m going to be honest, negative feedback will always sting. After a while, though, you won’t let it rule your life because, for that one negative comment, you’ll get 10 positive comments.
Think about those comments
Think about the people you helped.
Think about the relationships you’re creating.
Plus, if you’re not getting a negative comment every once in a while, you’re not being noticed. Think about that.
Let’s be real honest here — you have one life. You’re going to die. Just before that moment, when you look back on your life, are you going to be proud of using every ounce of energy to avoid anything negative? Or are you going to smile knowing you helped or even changed a few lives?
The answer is obvious. That’s what legends do.
